Open Thread Update: What a Dilemma!

When our Sexpert, Joan Price, tackled a sticky issue recently, she – and we – were amazed at the range of responses (read it here).

In sum, a woman broke up with her lover of several years because he refused to remove the pictures of his well-loved first wife…including a semi-nude one of her…in his bedroom. We included a poll asking readers to vote on who they thought was in the right – the woman who objected to the pix, or the man who refused. Here are the results:

He should have taken down at least some of the bedroom photos if they bothered his lover. 38%

Joan’s right, she should have voiced her feelings and then let it drop without an ultimatum.  29%

His memories of his wife are important to him and he should be able to hang her photos. 20%

She was right to give an ultimatum after all that time they spent together and him not acting on her request. 13%

If you haven’t weighed in on this, here’s the poll:

We all have pasts (and as we age that past gets longer and longer!)  The issue here seems to be how much sway we give (or allow) the past to have in our present and our future…and in the present and future of others.

So what do you think? Who’s right? Is there a compromise?  Have you handled a similar situation?  Let us know in the comments!



Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send your suggestions for Open Threads to her at